Global Mysticism

Global Mysticism

“The good news is, its here.

The good-erer news is, its here to stay.”

This was the latest headline on 168 hr news, Cappamore’s latest news channel that are so PC, they don’t like to discriminate against the days of the week, and have opted for weekly news as opposed to daily news – which at the end of the day/week, is the exact same thing – tho in the minds of some, it is a giant conceptual leap in the way we view time, and have favourite days, and non favourite days?

International correspondent Derek Greenwood from C168 has the following report…..

“Global mysticism seems to have come to life in the last 2 weeks in all parts of the western world, including Portugal. The movement has been underground for a number of years, but a recent comment from Stephen Fry on twitter has brought the movement to the forefront of societal thinkings frameworks.

So who are they, and what do they want?

“The global mystic (GM) is one who has a world view when it comes to worldly matters. They are usually identifiable by the headscarf they will be probably be wearing or by the yoga move they will be doing by the water cooler – not that they need to stretch, but that they need you to know that they know worldly topics are important – which is demonstrated through the movements of yoga, and meaningful looks with glazed eyes into the distance. If he or she is having a Starbucks, he/she will be aware that someone had to work hard to create the beans somewhere. They begrudgingly enjoy the odd McDonalds but mostly in private. They wouldn’t go so far as to eat their own sandals on a regular basis, but when pressed a little with the question –“if you were stuck on a desert island with no food, would you prefer to eat your own sandals or rocks?”, Jane summers, a recently declared GM, answered that she would then eat her own sandals – so you could say that they eat their own sandals, but only in certain situations.

Jane Summers, an optimistic book binder and cabinet maker, went on to say….”GM’s are concerned with globality in a mystical way. Our ideas about spirituality may seem vague but we like the general vibe of things. Sometimes wearing a nice flowing dress can put the soul at ease and balance out the chi of the world. While we have no specific beliefs on any thing in particular, we do like to chew our food a lot before swallowing and drink a lot of water, at least 2 litres a day. Tie dye is not outlawed but its not encouraged for the modern day GM, as it can hurt peoples eyes, and we don’t want to hurt peoples eyes, that not what we are about”

Donations can ne made on a regular basis.

Derek Greenwood

C168