Cellulite is Psychological

"Ppffffffffffffff, easy for you to say, what do you know about the sufferings of millions of women around the world who have to wake up with, spend the day with and then go to sleep with the PROC (physical reality of cellulite). Well my dears, some of my best friends claim to be sufferers, and have seen pictures of 'C' in magazines...so I know your 'pain'.

The above images might lead you to believe that cellulite is not psychological, and that it is in fact, purely physical. This however is untrue, according to new scientific research.

Just outside Geneva, there is a science project taking place. The science team have many Bunsen Burners and 1 Large Hadron Collider. The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator, a synchrotron intended to collide opposing particle beams of either protons at an energy of 7 trillion electronvolts (1.12 microjoules) per particle, or lead nuclei at an energy of 574 TeV (92.0 µJ) per nucleus. The LHC can find Black Holes (in the universe) (BH(itu)).

While Top Scientific (TS) were carrying out their daily researches with the LHC (very big hadronic collider), one team member stumbled upon new findings which led him to the discovery that cellulite was in fact all in the mind. He stated in a press interview recently in Vienna while sipping on a nice glass of fanta...."what a relief this is for womankind, there we were looking for black holes, and what do we discover - we discover holes alright, holes in the theories of all the previous sciencers who claimed for hundreds of years that women would just have to 'live' with cellulite as it was a real thing. "Sure they can just buy some creams and rub cinnamon leaves on their skin, eat more yoghurt and massage with stones on a more regular basis" was the attitude. Well not any more, now we can all just relax, and let science work its magic, no more cellulite, no more suffering in silence"

Dr. Hermanhausen (BA Hons. hetac level 2) wasnt available for questions at the press conference, but was overheard saying to someone later in the lobby of the 3 star hotel, 'just because the human eye can see it, it doesnt make it real'. He then finished his fanta.